When does the fat lady sing?

Lately I've been wondering this, "When are you really over a person?" This seems to be the topic of conversation going around with my girls lately and several guys for that matter. I know that this is an age old question that seems to have no answer, but really, when is it? When is it time to just let go, move on, be OK with ourselves alone? How long after a break up do you wait to get into another relationship? When do you really decide to just be done with a person and move on? How do you move on? Hmm...
I think that quite often, our parents or those older than us think that we should just keep on trekking through. That we need to get back on the horse again as soon as possible. I am reminded of the scene in 'Sleepless in Seattle' where Tom Hanks tries to go through his roll-a-dex in an attempt to find a date with the song 'Back in the Saddle Again' playing in the background. I am sure that we have all felt like that at some point. I have several friends whose parents think that going on a date as soon as possible will somehow make it easier to move on and that is the way to get over someone. That somehow that will make you stop hurting and missing someone. By the same token, I think that some parents think that laying low and not jumping into anything too fast is the answer. Sometimes I feel like I jump from relationship to relationship without feeling a thing. I've decided that maybe I have become heartless. I've become the girl that is immediately set up after a break up because I am 'in between' guys. It actually makes me sad to think that my history has given me this reputation, but that's a topic for another blog another day. I also wonder what do you do when someone just happens to come along right after you end another relationship? What if they really are amazing and treat you well and are what you need? Do you just not date them for the sake of waiting?
I think that the right time to move on isn't when you decide you are ready to. It's just before that. If we waited to be over someone to move on, we never would. We would let opportunity after opportunity pass us by because maybe that person will come back to us. I think that everyone is allowed their time to mourn the loss of a relationship. It is absolutely vital that we do this. We live in a culture where we are taught to always be perfect and be OK, but sometimes it's OK to not be OK. I repeat, it's OK to not be OK. But sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do. Sometimes we have to get back out there even when we don't want to. I think that getting back out there shows the Lord that you are willing to do the work. When we are willing to put our faith in Him and do the work, all things come together the way they are supposed to. It is absolute truth that when we put the Lord first in our lives and continue in faith, the things that need to be in our life will stay and the things that don't will leave. This reminds me of my brother. He went on a couple of dates with his wife and knew that he liked her a lot. He ended up leaving for the summer and she thought he was a little too intense for him. Now I view my brother as someone who is able to leave something behind and be done with it, but for some reason I could always sense that he hadn't quite let go of her. He dated and kept moving forward. A year later, his wife found him again and they began dating and eventually married. I think it's the perfect example of moving forward and things will work out. They always have and they always will.
With that, keep moving forward. That fat lady will sing when she is darn ready to, but maybe you need to keep moving forward and toting her around until she is ready to. Just a thought.

The Beginning

Well, let's start from the beginning. My first date was a classic first date. Dinner, movie, and a cute boy. Little did I know that this first date would only lead to more first dates than I can remember and more heartbreak than I ever wanted. I am turning 25 in a couple of weeks and it has for sure made me think. I never thought I would make it to 25 unmarried, and graduated from BYU no less! It's just not something you plan on when your Young Women's teacher has you write down where you will be in 5 years. My list consisted of 3 basic things: Graduated from college, married in the Temple, and hopefully a baby. I still want these 3 things more than anything. With that being said, I have decided to start this blog at the encouragement of my family, friends, and even strangers. I can't tell you how many times I have been told that I should write a book after I tell one of my dating stories. I am often the entertainment at family Sunday dinners as I tell about my own relationships or those of my friends.

As my first post of my dating musings I want to lay a foundation. I say musings because it will, more than anything, be my own thoughts. I will remain anonymous because I would never want to give anyone any reason to be offended by me. I want this to be an open forum where you can comment, share your experiences, and even pose a question to be answered. I for sure do not have all of the answers, because if I did, I wouldn't be single. But there might be someone else who reads and knows the answer. Sometimes it's nice to just have a totally outside opinion. This blog will also not be a bashing station. My musings will also consist of amusings. I will share my successes and those around me successes. I think we all need to hear when something good is actually happening. It gives us the hope to go on one more date and go to one more party. So, with that foundation, I look forward to sharing my musing with you.
A couple quotes to think about. I couldn't help but laugh right out loud, especially after the weekend I had.
“How many of you have ever started dating because you were too lazy to commit suicide?” - Judy Tenuta
I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.” - Wendy Liebman